WOLVER-REAL!
WOLVER-REAL:
The Apocalypse Of Immortals!
Head’s Up Nerd Herd!
The Great Grognard has an exciting, TRUE news story to tell you that will BLOW your FK’N NERD MINDS!
Thanks in no small part to the success of such epic blockbuster movies like Iron Man and the Avengers there has been news stories leaking in through the Nerd Grape Vine. It seems that the United States Military has been working on creating their own version of a real-life “Iron Man” style suit of combat armor!
WTF!
Yes. It is true that there has been some level of success in the advancement of technology needed to make this a reality in the near future. Already the technology is in use today as the modern performance enhancing exoskeletons which will be seen as the fore runners of such military Iron Men suits.
That, however, is not, the mind-blowing news.
Fuck Iron Man armor. I mean, tech is unreliable. Too easy to muck up.
DNA. Now that’s what I’m talking about.
OK, back in 2005 the first verified news story concerning the regeneration of a human body part made the news… and was quickly forgotten.
This regrowth was not due to any mutation in his genome. This was thanks to science. Specifically due to something called Extracellular Matrix.
In mammals, the only part of the body which is capable of regeneration is the bladder. Scientists took this knowledge and created a powder directly from the cellular scaffolding of a pig’s bladder. When this powder is applied directly to a section of the body that is missing a part, such as the nub of a sliced off finger, this powder not only eats away at the scab and inflammation but also sends a message which re-activates the cells in the damaged area to divide, differentiate, and build to its specific form!
“The biological scaffolds composed of naturally occurring extracellular matrix (ECM) will provide a micro-environmental niche that alters the default healing response toward a constructive and functional outcome.” – Dr. Brian Sicari of the University of Pittsburgh, School of Medicine.
You see every cell in the body “knows” exactly what part of the body it is making up, or forming. It knows if it is a finger, eye, lung, etc.
Now this doesn’t just work for regenerating a fingertip or a tooth. No. Currently two American soldiers, each of whom suffered life-threatening injuries due to bomb explosion, are now well underway regenerating major portions of both their legs!
Whaaaaaaaaaat?
This process will also be able to be used against cancer cells as new, healthy cells can be caused to grow using the ECM after the cancer cells are removed.
Hopefully the ECM will actually be able to reverse the cancer cells as they do to the scarring and inflammation of other areas they have been tested to work on.
WAIT!
Hold on to your skulls, nerds.
That was not the mind-blowing part of this blog.
After the next knowledge drop you’ll see that we won’t need ECMs to cure cancer.
Although being able to regenerate body parts is Very F’N Cool you’ll still eventually die from disease and old age.
NOT ANY MORE!
Check this out…
Aging to death is called Senescence. All animals will eventually die of old age even if they lead a physically/mentally healthy, and disease-free life.
It’s a fact.
Well…
No it isn’t.
Negligible Senescence is a well-known and accepted phenomenon that all biologists are aware of. Certain animals, most notably the lobster and tortoises, simply do not answer to the “law” of senescence. As of today, the oldest confirmed tortoise lived to the age of 255 years making him the oldest living terrestrial animal known to science. It was an Aldabra Giant Tortoise named Adwaita who lived at the Alipore Zoological Gardens in Kolkata, India. The cause of Adwaita’s death was due to liver failure brought on because of a crack in his shell that was never repaired. Examination of the tortoise’s body after his death showed that despite his advanced age his cells showed no sign of aging. They were little different from a much younger tortoise.
And here’s the kick in the head, kids.
We know why these select few creatures live a life of Negligible Senescence.
Telomeres.
As you know, our DNA strand is comprised of two intertwined strands of chromosomes, genetic information… the biological blueprint of each of us.
Now, at the ends of these strands are stretches of DNA called Telomeres which protect our genetic DNA as the cells divide.
Many have compared these Telomers to aglets. You know, those plastic tips at the end of your shoelaces. They are there to keep the shoelace from fraying, unraveling and getting all knotted up. If this happen to our genetic code it would kill us.
Exactly.
Each time a cell divides these DNA aglets get shorter and shorter. Eventually they literally erode away. At this point the cell becomes inactive, or senescence, and dies. This is the process of aging and also associated with the cause of cancer.
Just imagine it. It is more than scientifically plausible, given the above information, that already there walks among us the first immortal… the first human that will undergo this procedure has more than likely already been born.
IF this is something that can be “added” to us after cellular creation in the mother’s womb, that is.
Otherwise it’s safe to say that at least the parents of the first immortal already walk among us.
Between already understanding how to activate human regeneration and the soon to be understood science of how to create an ageless human we are quite literally looking at real life Wolverines becoming part of humanity!
This is both the greatest news and the worst news mankind could ever receive.
Yes, the Concept, the Idea of making us immune to diseases and the ravages of time AS WELL AS giving us the ability to regenerate body parts sound like a dream come true.
Doesn't it?
Ummmm… no.
Two phrases come to mind;
“May You Live In Interesting Times” - an ancient Chinese curse
and
“Be Careful Of What You Wish For” – Anonymous (common sense)
Maybe one day this will be a boon to humanity but no time soon. If we can’t get off the planet yet where the fuck are we going to be putting all these people who live and breed, forever?
How are we expected to feed our new immortal society?
Jobs? NO one ever dies that means they never stop paying taxes and rent and utilities and car insurance etc. If you are living forever I have news for you, you’ll be WORKING FOREVER.
Well, at least until there are less jobs than people. And then more people are born and no one dies so there even less jobs and it happens again and again and again to infinity and beyond.
The Apocalypse.
Not one of zombies, nor plague victims, not even from the aftermath of an alien invasion/demonic horde, no.
We are now one step closer to the true apocalypse...
One of ageless crowds and exhausted resources.
The Apocalypse of Immortals.
Once this genetic genie is out of the bottle, if we are still planet-bound as a society, we are doomed.
But still, come on…
FK’N HUMAN REGENERATION AND IMMORTALITY!
YES!
But “boo!”
BUT YES!
Ugh… see the dilemma, nerds.
We would all “give anything” to be like Wolverine but it’s just a death sentence of spiraling insanity waiting to turn the world into some weird Highlander/Mad Max amalgam.
The phrase "Drop Dead" will be a hopeful wish instead of a curse.
The Great Grognard Out.
