Politeness Apocalypse
LADIES FIRST… ZOMBIES.
Politeness and good manners can help you get through an otherwise rough day.
Others tend to appreciate a polite person and it even rubs off on them leaving them with a warm, friendly feeling. This, in turn, makes being polite easier for them allowing the politeness to spread from one to another. My parents, grandparents, and teachers all made sure to instill in me a fair sense of polite manners.
Actually, it’s not very difficult to be a gentleman. A little effort coupled with a nice smile and a pleasant tone to your voice can make a world of difference; standing when a lady enters the room, giving your seat to an elderly person, holding the door open, offering a refreshing beverage to your guests. These are all examples of politeness and good manners.
But did you know that politeness can save your life?
Case in point, holding a door open. Everyone knows how polite it is to hold a door open for a lady and let her enter a room before you do. This is actually one of the most basic tenants of being polite. I myself have held more doors open for more ladies than I will ever be able to count. I do this because I genuinely enjoy being a gentleman.
However, I also enjoy being a wise-ass. This brings me to the title - and idea - for this blog entry, “Ladies First, Zombies.”
Whenever I hold a door open for a woman that I know I make sure to say, “Ladies first…zombies.” The pause I place in-between the words “first” and “zombies” gives the lady enough time to smile at me for being polite. By the time they hear the word, “zombies” it’s too late; they’re already entering through the door into the room.
In fact, the first time I said this to my wife, then girlfriend (and she STILL married me, go figure), she asked me what I meant by that. Smirking I told her I was just being polite. I added that IF there were zombies in the room they’d attack her first giving me time to go for help.
Her eye-rolling answer was a sarcastic and slightly exasperated “Nice.”
That didn’t stop her from entering the room first though.
See, politeness saves lives.
Not others… but yours.
Hey, the biggest struggle IF the Zombie Apocalypse actually does come isn’t staying alive but keeping our humanity. Let’s face it, good manners is one of the pillars of our humanity. It separates us from the animals in a way that buildings or using tools doesn’t. Ants and beavers build. Otters and apes use tools. But no other animal on planet Earth is polite except for humans. Unless they were trained by humans to be so.
So, the next time you’re being polite remember, it might just save your life from the zombie apocalypse.
- The Great Gygaxian Grognard
